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stories & literature

the enchanted forest

"The Aftermath"

by Christofori

Note: This story was written out of the channel; so there is no IRC version. I was bored one night, and no one was in the channel; so I crafted this story on my own (more or less)! Well, there are a FEW elements of the story which were influenced by people in the channel. Those of you who made some influence to this story know who you are (or, you'll figure it out when you read!) For now, take pleasure in reading this next chapter to the "Enchanted Forest" series.

The Master Storyteller soon grew tired after telling the children of the woes in the Enchanted Forest. However; the children, all paying much more attention this time, had begun to beg and beg the Master to continue with the next chapter that he finally relented and decided to read to them a while longer.

"Well, Children; you remember HyoCHAN and Poorbris, right?" asked the Master.
"Yes!" they all replied happily, "we remember!"

"Well, okay then," continued Christofori. "Let's continue. Let's see... where was I? Ah, yes. Here it is! Well, as I recall, HyoCHAN was now pregnant with the beastly bastard-of-a-child fathered by Ralesk, while Impotentbris had lost his... erm... Let's just say he wasn't able to perform so well now."

"Clownbris was an actor?" asked Slam, who'd always managed to ask stupid questions in the past; but, as Christofori could see, Slam had been led right into that conclusion.
"Well, not exactly, Slam," continued the Master. "Let us just say that Absentbris could no longer be considered a real man; nor could he have sex. You understand," the Master prodded, as the Children all began to nod, looking somewhat confused. Christofori did not pause to explain the details any further; rather, he decided to forge onward with the story.

"So, great evil had taken place in the Enchanted Forest, and only one god knew of it. Coincidentally, it was also that one god who had set it all up; Komsip, the god of mischief, himself. After the unpleasant events previously mentioned had taken place, Komsip laughed his way all the way back to the Ethereal Plane of Existence and Ponderance, where all of the gods actually lived. Though many of the gods didn't actually know what had happened, Komsip's loud laughter clued them in to the fact that he was definitely up to something.

Anyway, Stary and the other gods (except for Komsip and Gargoyle), having had pity on Warhawk, allowed him to ascend up to the Ethereal Plane of Existence and Ponderance, where he was allowed to recuperate. Little did anyone know, but AcidDose, who was somehow also in the Ethereal Plane of Existence and Ponderance, came up to Warhawk and asked if he could perform via ShoutCast. Warhawk, not knowing what this was, agreed; thinking that a performance (ANY performance) might make him feel better.

So, as Warhawk propped himself up on the nice, fluffy pillow that had been handed to him by a nearby nymph, AcidDose began to play his keyboard. He began by setting up an "almost but not quite" steady beat, which kept repeating. Warhawk started to dig the beat, but found that tapping his foot in time with the music hurt - it both caused him pain in his foot, and caused him to have a headache while trying to keep up to the "almost but not quite" steady beat. He soon got used to it, though, as AcidDose continued by laying down a mean bass line.

"This bass line was so mean, that..." the Master suddenly trailed off. "Hmmm..." he pondered.
"What is it?" asked Kruser, who usually tended to be the more silent type.
"I need a cola. I will be right back," concluded Christofori. With that, he stood up, and vanished into a puff of white smoke! The Children were all amazed; how could Christofori simply vanish at a whim like that? They all decided that Slam should ask the Master once he returned with his cola.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and a bright puff of smoke; and, instead of Christofori, the Children saw a massive flat of Coca-Cola appear! They were all greatly amazed, and stood in awe at the masterful power of Christofori. Not only could this wondrous man tell excellent stories; but he could make their favorite carbonated beverage appear out of thin air! The Children all clamored for their own cola, and were surprised to find it already cold.

"Now, now; Children! Take turns!" exclaimed a bemused Christofori from behind them. They were all quite startled; and turned about rather quickly; Slam even managed to drop his freshly opened cola in the process. He stared in disbelief at Christofori, as his cola began to trickle down into a small snake hole nearby. "But... But... How?" was all the small lad could manage, as Christofori began to take his place near the campfire with the Children. He smiled as he slowly shook his head and raised a finger, as if to say "do not ask!" to the bewildered Slam. The other Children, coincidentally, still stood, frozen in awe. With a quick snap of his fingers, Christofori released them from whatever spell seamed to have bound them, and they all returned to their respective places at the campsite, though with some understandably confused expressions.

Christofori reached over and grabbed himself a Coke, and popped it open with ease. "Now, where was I again?" he queried.

Slam thought for a moment, and then reminded the Master; "AcidDose just started his groovy bass line for Warhawk!"
"Ah! So he did," concluded the Master. With that, he re-opened the book and continued reading.

"So, AcidDose began to lay down a mean bass line. All the while, the gods had begun to meet and discuss their strategy for what should happen next. Now, since we mortals are not privy to such information, we must assume that the gods are doing their best to straighten out whatever mischief had been done earlier; for now, however, we must be content to listen to AcidDose's rendition of "Wooly Bully."

Slam looked up suddenly. "What's... um... 'Wooly-Bully?'" he asked.
"Well," said Christofori, "it is a song which was popular some time ago; possibly around the time your parents were your age. I'm actually surprised that you have not heard of it; many, many people try to make fun of it. You see, it's a rather difficult song to play, because it is made up entirely of what are called 'Tertiary Dominant Chords.' Not many musicians even know what those are, but AcidDose; well, he's a special case, indeed!" exclaimed the Master. You would agree with him, too, if you could hear AcidDose's music; it is very... erm... How should we say? Special??? Yes, that's it. It is Special.

"Anyway," continued Christofori, "AcidDose continued to play 'Wooly Bully' while the gods had their secret session. When they were done, Warhawk had managed to listen to seventy-six several variations on the theme of 'Wooly Bully' and had grown to be very tired of it. AcidDose was hence banished from the Ethereal Plane of Existence and Ponderance; as no one really knew how he'd gotten there in the first place.

Well, the gods decided to let nature take it's course with HyoCHAN, but they took pity on Pricklessbris and allowed him to grow a new... erm... appendage. This did not happen overnight, however; it would end up taking several weeks - weeks during which Blueballsbris couldn't... well, he couldn't pleasure himself at all!

Well, several weeks passed, and things in the Enchanted Forest began to return to normal. Unfortunatebris had asked the gods for a divorce from HyoCHAN, since (after all) she had mothered am illegitimate child with a beast of some kind. The gods granted Stonedbris' request, and their marriage was effectively dissolved. This was actually good for HyoCHAN, because she had started to dislike the idea of being 'chained down' to one man. Besides, you all know that she had somewhat of a fetish for various kinds of animals."

Upon hearing this line of the story, Christofori glanced up towards the children, who all nodded solemnly.

"Well, yes, although bestiality is bad, HyoCHAN continued to practice it's evil ways, mmmkay? Yes, HyoCHAN is now evil and should die. Oh, wait! No, that is another story. Forget I even mentioned that, Children!" exclaimed Christofori wildly. He soon found his wits again after taking a long sip of his Coke, and managed to continue with the relevant details to the story.

"Yes... Well, Reunifiedbris continued to roam the Enchanted Forest alone, wailing in his dismay of how he felt life had treated him. You see, he used to be a happily married man who could pleasure himself all of the time, with a loving father and several friends. Now, Downinthedumpsbris was all alone; his marriage in shambles, his friends all either dead or missing, and his father, who had somehow turned mean in his last days, presumably dead (he was, as far as Knowitallbris knew, dead or at the very least missing).

Well, as all that time passed earlier, Warhawk had been recuperating in the Ethereal Plane of Existence and Ponderance. Warhawk was now well, though his pride was still somewhat damaged. He had, after all, lost his devine Talon of Light which had been given to him by the gods themselves (well, except for Gargoyle and Komsip). Well, the gods again took pity on Warhawk and furnished him with another gift: the Talon of Mercy. They figured that, while Warhawk hadn't made use of their first Talon as they had originally intended, they would give him a second chance while, at the same time, helping him to learn a vital lesson in morality. You see, the Talon of Mercy was not so much as a weapon, as Warhawk had used the Talon of Light. No, the Talon of Mercy was, instead, an instrument of peace and mercy, used to take pity on other poor souls in the Enchanted Forest.

So, Warhawk was allowed to return to his home, and began to seek out his first assignment in mercy - his beloved adopted son, Lostbris. Unfortunately, Unknownbris was nowhere to be found! Warhawk was perplexed; he had figured that Lazybris would be working away, trying to keep the homestead as brilliant as it had always been. Instead, Warhawk found his beloved home in a state of general disrepair; and this angered the mighty Warhawk. However, he remembered the lessons that the gods were trying to teach him about mercy and peace, and soon found that it did not matter so much that his home looked like crap. What mattered to Warhawk now was the location of his lost son!

Meanwhile, Wanderingbris had strayed so far from Warhawk's pad that he was on the far side of the Enchanted Forest. Only once before had Hatbris been here, and that was when he was a young lad. He had wandered off before and become hopelessly lost as a young child, and Warhawk, his (at that time) newly adoptive father, had been forced to search the entire forest for him. Well, Sadbris, in a state of total despair, suddenly collapsed to the ground and began to weep uncontrollably. He was, after all, alone in the world, and forsaken by all those whom he had ever known or loved. Well, you see, something magical happened when Sorrowbris began to cry. Something in his voice caused Warhawk's Talon of Mercy to glow with a faint blue glow.

Warhawk, not knowing what this could mean, immediately took off in flight as he began to look for his long lost child. Warhawk searched the skies, and he peered through the deep forest, looking for his child. He soon learned that, after flying in one direction, the Talon of Mercy's magical blue glow had begun to fade; so, he took a chance and reversed course, hoping that the Talon would increase in brightness the closer he got to whatever was making it glow. Well, he had bargained correctly, for as he flew and searched closer and closer to Dispairbris' position, the Talon of Mercy glowed more and more strongly until, at last, Warhawk could hear his son's troubled sobbing, and was finally able to spot him amongst the dank corner of the forest in which he now found himself.

Immediately, Warhawk let out a screech of joy (well, as much as a hawk's screeching could be interpreted as joy, anyway) as he landed near the sobbing Poorbris. At once, Suddenlybris looked up and saw none other than his adoptive father, Warhawk! The two immediately embraced for what seemed like years (but, in reality, was only a few seconds of joy) until, suddenly, Concernedbris loosened up somewhat, thinking that his father would still be angry with him. Warhawk saw the concern building up within the troubled youth's eyes, and began to tell him the long story of his misadventures, and of his long stay in the Ethereal Plane of Existence and Ponderance as he was allowed to heal.

The two had begun to catch up as they flew back to Warhawk's pad. They each told glorious tales of what had happened to them (most of it was false, as neither of them really led interesting lives...) and, suddenly (and out of nowhere) an arrow struck Warhawk. Unitedbris slipped from Warhawk's grasp and began to plummet alongside his now wounded father towards the ground! Somehow, some evil soul had seen Warhawk and Clutchedbris flying through the air, and they had shot Warhawk with some kind of magic golden arrow!

Hoodbris landed with a loud THUMP and slowly got to his feat. He was hurt, but he hadn't been hit by the arrow, so he was still able to get around somewhat. Not but a few feet from his position lay Warhawk, now scrawled out in an awkward and undoubtedly painful position (for a bird, anyway). Soulbris rushed over to his father's side, and, not knowing what else to do, he began to call wildly for help. At first, he didn't realize that this would help their attackers find them in the dense forest, but before long, Stupidbris wised up and stopped his infernal shouting.

Slowbris began to think of his options, and was doing quite well putting together complete thoughts in his head when he heard the audible crack of a twig nearby. Quickly, he scooped Warhawk into his arms and headed off blindly in one seemingly-random direction.

Fortunately for Dankbris, he was actually running towards his home; which he and Warhawk were not all that far from, after all. Donkeybris managed to look back over his shoulder as he ran a few times, but never managed to see anyone following him. Not willing to risk stopping, as he thought the attackers would surely find him then, Devotedbris forged onward through the forest; all the while carrying a dying Warhawk on his back.

By the time the tired Backwardsbris made it home to Warhawk's pad and had laid his injured father lovingly down near the fireplace where it was warm, he was not able to tell that his father had already died! Poor Densebris just lay there with his father, every now and then gently prodding to see if Warhawk was conscious. Unfortunately, we will not find out what happens to Linnenbris, or if he will ever find out that his father has died, until the next chapter!"

"AWWW!" screamed the frustrated Children.
"You HAVE to tell us what happens! You just HAVE to!!" screamed Slam.
"Ah ah ah!" teased Christofori. "You see," he continued, "I have to save SOMETHING for the next chapter! You will find out soon enough!"

With that, the Master Storyteller stood slowly, and vanished again, in a puff of white smoke.

However, to the surprise of the Children, the pallet of Coca-Cola remained, and they all enjoyed a few more before finally turning in to bed for the night!

The End!
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